Ashly Brady

Hey!  

As usual, it’s been a bit since we’ve chatted last. I always intend on being more consistent with this, but for whatever reason, it never fails that I skip a few months before deciding to write again. So who knows when the next post will be after this one. A girl can hope it’ll be within the next month, but some might consider that wishful thinking—so I won’t make any promises.

Now that I’ve unlocked a whole new genre to talk about, I’m sure most posts moving forward will revolve around being a mother, balancing life with a child, and future plans… *blah blah*. I mean, I guess that’s just the nature of having a baby—everything somehow circles back to them (not complaining in the slightest).

Well, I’ve officially been a mom for eight months now and man does it feel like time is flying and crawling all at once. I feel like I’m constantly torn between the joy of watching Cameron grow and the ache of knowing he’ll never be this tiny again. My mom always said motherhood is the hardest yet most rewarding thing—and I couldn’t agree more. Some days Cam really tests my patience or mama is flat-out exhausted, and then he’ll hit a new milestone or flash that little smile, and suddenly, it’s like all is right in the world again. The hard parts just melt away.

My brother’s asked me a few times now what being a mom is like, and I still don’t have the perfect answer. I’ve spent late nights trying to find the words, but nothing fully captures it. Sure, words like amazing and beautiful come to mind—but even those feel like they fall short. It’s just so many things rolled into one overwhelming, heart-filling experience. And I love it. I couldn’t imagine my life any other way now.

When we first brought Cam home, I was pretty focused on the numbers—how many ounces he was drinking, how much he weighed, how many diapers he went through, how long and how often he slept, even how many ounces I pumped a day. Part of that was because of his NICU stay, but honestly, I obsessed over every detail. We used an app to track it all (which was helpful), but eventually it started to feel like more work. Over time, we phased out the app and started leaning more into my instincts. And let me tell you—it’s wild how much you know your baby when you tune everything else out.

Letting go of that pressure lifted a huge mental weight. I also stopped stressing over a schedule. In the beginning, I felt like I had to get him on one—but now? We’ve got a pretty consistent bedtime, mornings, and bath days, and everything else just flows. It works for us. And that’s all that matters.

I’ve been back from maternity leave for about two and a half months now, and those first six weeks? Rough. I really questioned how I was going to juggle both roles—because let’s face it, they both demand a lot. But like with anything, the longer you do it, the more natural it starts to feel. Some days are still more stressful than others, but I’m learning what works and what doesn’t. Each day, Cam and I get to know each other better, and that makes everything more manageable. I truly love that I get to be both—mom and me—in tandem.

This boy never fails to impress me. Being a preemie, Cam gave us an extended newborn stage—he didn’t do a whole lot when we brought him home, very much in his sack of potatoes era. With so many friends having babies this year, it was hard at time to see them and wonder how much longer until we’re there.

But once he hit four months corrected and rolled from back to belly—it was like he took off. He’s now sitting (still with some support, but hey, we’ll take it!), which is a big deal considering his core strength wasn’t always there. And now? He’s working on crawling. I feel like any week now we’re going to have a little mover on our hands. He’s so curious and honestly so nosy (Carson says he gets that from me—he’s probably right).

Even eight months in, postpartum is still a rollercoaster. Some days I don’t feel like my old self, but I don’t feel like a “mom” yet either. I’m somewhere in between—figuring out who this new version of me is. But what I have found is a new kind of confidence. Maybe it’s the exhaustion, or maybe it’s that I just don’t have the time or energy to care about things that don’t really matter anymore.

There’s something freeing in that. I feel secure in being Cam’s mom, and I love that about this new version of me. I’m still learning how to fill my own cup, too, because motherhood has shown me just how much we push ourselves to the backburner. But I know how important it is to show up for myself—because I want to pour into my family from a full place, not an empty one.

Right now, I’m just so excited to watch Cam grow. It makes me emotional knowing he’ll never be this small again, but I know he’s got so much to discover—and I can’t wait to witness it all. We definitely plan to grow our family at some point, but for now, we’re soaking up every moment as a trio. Just us and our tiny little family.

Until next time,  
Ashly